becoming
Over the past three months, I have found myself buried deep under paper work, dozens and dozens of job applications, and bills that I can hardly afford to pay. I have cried more than one time over spilled milk, and I have either broken down or screamed at Jered over meaningless, petty things more than I care to admit.
To blame: the stress involved in this job searching.
In the last six months, I have watched myself change to enormous degrees. I can honestly say that teaching is starting to define who I am as a person. Or maybe better explained: I am defining who I am as an individual by doing what I am doing on a daily basis. Teaching has consumed my days, and it has impacted my life in leaps and bounds.
Perhaps I am stressed because teaching is the only thing I really want to do.
Having a back-up plan would be like doing myself a disservice. For me, there is nothing I can fall back on, because there is nothing I
want other than this.
until I can sit down and type up a real post
mural: self-portrait relay March 2007
lost
With the Blizzard Warnings out right now, Jered and I decided to spend our Saturday evening relaxing indoors with a couple of movies. Lately, we have gotten hooked on the show LOST, thanks to a few friends and family who have suggested we start watching the show.
I say hooked, but Jered really just watches it because he is in love with the woman who plays "Kate." And I do admit, she is pretty hot. And she has really sexy eyebrows. Ahem. Okay.
We have been renting the DVDs, so we are not yet caught up to watch it on Wednesday nights like the rest of the world. We are still watching the first season. And by first season, I mean we have only seen eight episodes. But needless to say we are hooked.
I can totally handle that Jered is obsessed with the hot chick.
And I can handle that there are
polar bears on this island and that none of the men are starting to grow a real beard or the women underarm hair (even though they have been on the island for what? like ten days now), but if ONE MORE TIME Jered says in his deep mucus-constricted voice "
Welcome to Jurassic Park" when there is some wild bore chasing one of the men through the jungle, I am just about going to go ballistic.
happy valentines day
violet tulips
winter amaryllis
projects
Jered has been in Colorado Springs for the past five days and since his farewell, I have completely trashed our apartment. However, I have been able to tackle quite a few winter projects. Here is a photo of the mess before I cleaned.
And here is a photo of the apartment after I cleaned. Note the progress of the painting in the background. And the new coffee table I created, seen below as well.
New coffee table, inspired by the February issue of Real Simple. We had this unused piece of glass laying around from our entertainment center, and I found these market crates at the local Buy and Sell shop.
And here is my new work space:
And the sweater I crocheted for my ipod.
I know, barf, right?
memory, memoir, memento
I keep returning to a memory I have from when I was something like ten years old. Every summer, mine and another family vacationed up north at this family's cabin on Lake Eau Claire. There was a man who frequently visited us, a neighbor I think. His name was Jim. And if his name wasn't Jim, well it's Jim in my memory, so we'll call him Jim. He was like a grandfather to us kids, mostly as a result of his age, but also because of his fabulous magic tricks.
Jimbo could turn a quarter into a slip bobber right before our eyes. Or pull a beer out from behind my ear. NO idea how he did that.
But the best "trick" he ever played on us, one that keeps recirculating in my brain, goes as follows. And I change my mind, I think I was more like eight.
So Jim always told us how much he just loved Cheerios. (Okay, I have NO idea if he loved Cheerios, but it makes the story better, you'll see).
So one day he was again telling us about his passion for Cheerios. That afternoon he let us in a little secret: That if you planted Cheerios in the ground, and waited long enough (overnight), there would be a wonderfully magical surprise the next morning.
So of course, what did we do? We followed his careful instructions. And late one night went out to plant some Cheerios in the ground. Just under another tree of course-- Jim said that was the most important instruction.
After hardly being able to sleep that night, we woke up the following morning to a beautiful tree blossoming, full of magical, wonderfully sweet donuts. Cheerios that had sprouted through the Earth, decorating the branches of the small maple tree under which we'd planted them.
rocky mountain high
Ski Cooper - Leadville, CO - January 11, 2007
